If you have ever felt rejected, you should read Uninvited

If you have ever felt rejected, you should read Uninvited

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I love Lysa TerKeurst books because I feel like she understands me completely. Reading her books always makes me feel like I’m visiting with a dear girlfriend who totally gets me so when I finish the last page, I feel encouraged, satisfied, and happy. I feel like, “Yeah, I can do this. I’m not the only one who has felt this way.”

Have you ever felt alone, misunderstood? I have. So that is why I get excited when I read an author who so eloquently puts on the page what I have failed to express.

In her latest book, Uninvited, TerKeurst tackles the tough subject of rejection. Feelings of rejection can come in many forms: abandonment, bullying, loss, making a mistake in public and getting unwanted attention, not getting invited to a function, eating alone in a crowded room, not getting a job you wanted, etc. Hurts get magnified by negative self-talk. Sometimes we react out of proportion to what is going on or interpret what is said or done based on past experiences.

Again, this is one of those books that we can go back to again and again to be reminded, encouraged, and refreshed.

Some of the topics she covers include anchoring our identity in the truth of who God is and who we are in Him; living loved; and going into situations full of God so that we are free to bless others. When someone breaks a relationship with you, it really hurts, but TerKeurst has a chapter about this full of great advice on how to speak with honor, speak with peace, speak of good things, and “be obedient to, trust, and believe God to help us work through contrary feelings”.

Have trust issues? She has a chapter about that. We can trust God to take care of us no matter what happens.

TerKeurst wrote, “But as you pray through your feelings, see if maybe your situation has more to do with you being prepared than you being overlooked. There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to realize that being set aside is actually God’s call for her to be set apart.” I never considered this. It puts a positive spin on something that might send me into despair. Being challenged to look with fresh perspectives is good.

The chapter “Her Success Does Not Threaten Mine” is a great reminder in a culture that sometimes feels like it is a big competition. Jealousy stinks. Do we think there isn’t enough to go around? Silly us. God has something for each of us so we can rejoice in the success of others, even as we wait upon our own.

She gives us ten things to remember when rejection looms heavy in our life. One of her recommendations was to ask what questions rather than why because what questions help us focus on the future while why questions keep us stuck on things out of our control.

“The Devil wants me to fill my emptiness with an unhealthy dependence on the acceptance of others. Because then he can get me so focused on the shallow opinions of others I get completely distracted from deepening my relationship with Christ,” TerKeurst wrote. She recommends countering the lies with truth. We also have to implement what we learn because just hearing or reading something doesn’t transform us. Applying what we learn helps us grow. She also includes prayers to help us work through the process.

A few of her quotable passages include the following:

“Heartbreaking seasons can certainly grow me but were never meant to define me.”

“We need both the winds of hardship and the winds of relief to sweep across our lives if we are to be truly fruitful.”

“We must believe that what God has said He will do will be done. Don’t focus on the problems. Instead, have the resurrection mind-set that holds fast to God’s promises. Good is coming!”

Get a copy of this book and read it and soak in all the wisdom shared within its pages.

Life is really about seeking God’s best for us, as this book suggests. When we trust that even in the heartbreaking times that God is working for our good, it seems it will make it a little less hurtful because we can anticipate something really awesome is in store for us eventually if we can just get through the trial at hand. The pain is still there, but it is accompanied with hope.

Have you read Uninvited or another book by Lysa TerKeurst? Which one?

I hope you’ll be encouraged. Remember: you are loved.


4 Replies to “If you have ever felt rejected, you should read Uninvited”

  1. I know I’ve read he name somewhere, but I can’t remember where and in what context right now. I have not read any of her books, but I will consider doing that. I don’t feel rejected anymore, but I did as a skinny high school teenager. I think everyone is misunderstood at times. The seems to be a “normal” part of life. This sounds like a great book to read. Thanks for the review, Michelle.

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