3 relationship books to strengthen bonds

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God wants us to find happiness with the spouse of our youth all the days of our lives. We have our moments though when we fail to find joy on our radar. Tempers flare when we feel misunderstood or ignored. As the year switches to 2021, I recommend three relationship books that promise to strengthen marital bonds, which of course will help us both feel more loved.

As the year winds down and we set goals for next year, let’s make strengthening our marriages top priority. When our relationships flourish, it boosts our confidence, keeps us healthier, and reminds us we matter to others.

May these relationship books help you keep the spark burning. (They are in no particular order.)

Eight Dates

The first relationship book, Eight Dates by John Gottman, Ph.D., and Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., addresses eight areas in a relationship that can be strengthened through better communication. Topics include trust, conflict, intimacy, work and money, family, fun, spirituality, and dreams. At the end of each chapter, there are questions to discuss with your spouse on a date. They give ideas of where you can consider spending your date. Cherishing each other and spending time with each other strengthen marriages. If you’re looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, this book will point you in the right direction. I’ve been married over 30 years and found encouragement within its pages, though I believe couples just beginning will benefit most. I think simply getting couples to dig down and talk about more than just the day-to-day tasks allows them to connect at a deeper level thus enriching and strengthening the bond.

Reconnected

The second relationship book, Reconnected by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley starts with addressing eleven issues that might impact your marriage in subtle, harmful ways. Referencing a warning given in the Song of Solomon about little foxes that sneak in to destroy or damage relationships, they dig into how couples can drift apart and how to remedy the situation so that your marriage is stronger, closer, happier, more fulfilling. It’s packed with excellent advice. Best of all, it leaves readers feeling hopeful instead of hopeless. Their relatable stories left me laughing at times. Other times, I reached for some tissues. So if you ever feel disconnected from your spouse, reach for a copy of this book and rediscover each other. This book speaks to couples married awhile.

9 Lies

The last recommendation in this blog bears a rather long title. Robert Paul and Gregg Smalley’s book, 9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free, shares about underlying cultural beliefs found in movies, books, even wedding ceremonies that undermine our marriages and relationships. I’m sure you’ll recognize them. Their relatable discussions free readers from these subtle traps. Investing in each other and in the relationship is important because not only is each person valuable, but the marriage is valuable. As the authors affirm throughout, you are of incalculable worth and value to God. They provide solutions for better communication which leads to respectful dialogue rather than wounding fights. Real examples shared from their marriage intensives illustrate how it’s done. Investments require time and sacrifice, but with commitment, positive results emerge, step by step taking you toward the goal you desire. I believe this book would save newlyweds some grief and will bless those married awhile.

Of course reading a book doesn’t miraculously change your life, but it can help you take steps to realize dreams together and rekindle that passion that might have dimmed some over the trials of life. Everyone faces frustrations and disappointments, wrestles with unmet expectations, and struggles with expressing a want or need. Remember you’re on the same team.

We want to grow together not apart. May we find ourselves healthier and happier next year at this time.

For another blog about strengthening marriage, click HERE.

Do you have any relationship books to recommend? Please share in the comments.

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