Favoritism hurts as novel portrays

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Parents, grandparents, and teachers who show favoritism create a lot of hurt feelings. Favoritism shows up in words and actions. Aware of favoritism, I work to avoid it at all costs.

Favoritism harms relationships

While reading James L. Rubart’s novel, The Pages of Her Life, the pain caused by favoritism reflected loud and clear as the story unfolded. Allison and her brother Parker live in the shadow of an older brother, Joel, even after his death. Their father reminds them again of how much he adored Joel in a video they find after the dad dies. No, even after death, good old dad digs into the wound.

Each character acted out of this pain. Allison strived to be the best architect. She desired a successful career and to be partner in a thriving firm. Even after her father died, she hoped to impress her dad with her accomplishments, prove her worth, prove she deserved lots of love. Parker risked his life to prove courage. His selfless acts never attracted his father’s praise. Both lived haunted lives.

Favoritism in novels reflects the ugly truth that exists in real life. Even if the favorite child is dead, the siblings still grieve. Sometimes the competition causes siblings to sever the relationship or serves as an unspoken wedge that keeps people at a distance. That’s sad too, because it’s the person showing favoritism who is the real problem.

Can one find healing?

What makes a person hurt a child like that? The wounds of childhood don’t disappear just because the child became an adult. Buried pain emerges in some way. Make no doubt about that. The favoritism continues until death unless someone speaks up. That can go bad too with denials and more accusations flying from all sides. Anger destroys where love ought to bind.

I think only God can heal that kind of pain.

In the novel, Richard helped the siblings heal.

In life, I believe talking it out would help, but a mediator is likely needed. People tend to be blind to their faults.

If talking is avoided or impossible, continue to pray about it and memorize Scripture that reminds you of your value and worth. Other people may never admit the pain they caused, but we can still forgive and heal.

What helped you overcome the pain of favoritism?

Book Recommendation: The Pages of Her Life by James L. Rubart.

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.