Incorporate love languages to say I love you

Incorporate love languages to say I love you

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Do you know that if you don’t speak your spouse’s love language, your spouse might feel unloved and neglected? It’s easy to incorporate love languages to say I love you.

Applying love languages could spark the embers. The five love languages are touching, serving, spending time, speaking words of affirmation, and giving gifts. If you don’t know your spouse’s love language, then implementing all five ensures making sure your spouse knows she or he is loved.

Here are five ideas to incorporate love languages in your marriage:


This love language seems obvious. Holding hands, snuggling into each other when you sleep, caressing, kissing, flirting, and putting a hand on your arm are some examples of touching. I have a niece whose love language is touching. She loves back rubs and tickles up her arm. If your spouse gets irritated by you rubbing her hand then touching may not be her primary love language. Still, incorporating each love language is important because if spouses never touch then they won’t feel fully loved.


Include the next love language, serving, even if it isn’t the primary language because we all could use help throughout the week. Some days, we just can’t keep up with the mounting number of tasks that need to be accomplished, so this love language is spoken loudly when acts of service are performed. See all the laundry heaped on the bed? Why not fold it and put it away?  Help with the dishes or meal preparation or gardening or shopping. You get the idea—help get the work done! Finishing a dreaded chore speaks volumes. For some people, being served shouts being treasured.

Spending Time Together

Serving and spending time together may take longer investments of time, but these love languages are worth the investment. Spending time together means doing things together like dating or taking a walk or exercising together. It also means communicating. Slow down and talk, really talk, about issues of the heart and important personal matters not just the highlights of the day and offspring updates. Remember when you dated how excited you were to see each other and how you could talk for hours? Well, rekindle those memories. Listen to understand not just hear. Laugh. Play. Participate in some activity. Being together and bonding equal spending time together. If you’re too busy and miss time with your spouse, anger or frustration may burn and build a canyon that would better be avoided by investing time in the marriage. Loneliness sets in for the spouse struggling with loss of time together.

Speaking Words of Affirmation

Our words are involved in this next love language. Speaking Words of Affirmation means verbally telling someone positive comments and feedback like, “You look lovely,” or “I’m proud of how you handled that situation,” or “God’s greatest gift to me is you,” and such uplifting, encouraging words. But, of course, you must mean them. If you don’t, you will inflict greater pain than if you hadn’t said anything at all. Another way to use words of affirmation is to brag about your spouse to others or tell others about how much your spouse means to you or how much you miss your spouse if he or she is away. My cousin’s husband spoke volumes to me when he spoke about his wife who was away on a trip. I knew without a doubt how blessed she is and how loved she is by how much he missed her. No doubts exist there if the whole world can hear the adoration! Who wouldn’t want a marriage like that?

Giving Gifts

The last love language is giving gifts. Now, with this love language, you can spend lots of money, or you can be frugal, depending on your budget. If there is something she is saving for, help her save for it. Jewelry, flowers, candy, little tokens of items you know she adores make nice gifts, but writing love notes or making or buying greeting cards work well also. Pick a bouquet of wild flowers or surprise her with a romantic picnic. That last one covers gifts and spending time! A double win, for sure.

So, see, we can come up with lots of ideas that exclaim “I love you”! What are we waiting for? Speaking love languages improve relationships, which makes everybody happier and more satisfied with life.

Of course, love languages extend to other family members such as our children and parents also, but that’s another blog.

What other ideas can you think of? Let’s go out and show our loved ones they are loved!

For more information about love languages, visit

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