Press on in writing dream

Press on in writing dream

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My desire to write began as a young girl. The writing dream persisted even when I tried to ignore it or bury it. Doubts and obstacles often threaten to extinguish the dream. Yet hope rekindled brings me joy and encourages me to keep pressing on to finish the work started.

Through the decades, I have published poetry, essays, newspaper articles and features, a column, and marketing materials such as press releases, newsletters, brochures, advertisements, and such. A few awards for my short stories in younger days brought thrills. But all of that means nothing in the current season. That’s all the past. Today marks a new beginning.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick

When I finished homeschooling, I thought my latent dream of becoming an author supplemented by freelancing could begin, but obstacles kept rising up. My initial “first day of my new career” penciled on the calendar said June 17, but by August, I still hadn’t started.

My frustrations all seeped out with a grief so deep I thought it was like grieving a death. Tears continued. My heart grew so very heavy. Despair over ran any sliver of hope.

Have I wasted all this time and effort? Am I really following God’s plan? If I am meant to do this, why is chiseling out a few hours a day so hard? Why does my schedule continue to be disrupted? I felt disrespected, unloved, unheard by those who knew my goals. I wondered if this was my plan, not God’s. So, I surrendered again, but regrets and disappointments still overwhelmed me.

How could I invest so much time, money, and effort into this writing dream and just let it die? Why would this seed even be planted in my heart if it had no purpose? If my dream fails, if it means nothing, and I have wasted my life chasing a fantasy, what am I to do? Why does it hurt so much?

I cry out for guidance, for help. I seek to do what is right. I hate to waste time, money, and efforts. My grief floods my soul. I hurt. Life lost its allure.

Down in this pit I remained, trudging through the daily routine, feeling everything was pointless.

But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life

Then I read a devotional by Dianne Neal Matthews in Mornings with Jesus. It was about her grandson’s fishing dream, but the day’s faith step read, “Are you on the verge of giving up on something—a prayer request, a God-given dream, a relationship?” Pow!

Are you on the verge of giving up? “Keep on_____________,” it advised. For me, it whispered, “Keep on writing. Don’t give up your writing dream yet.”

In my study of Isaiah, I read about trusting in the Lord twice that day.

The flame of hope burned a little brighter. I sat down at the keyboard and wrote. Writing brings me happiness. It must have a purpose for me. Maybe my writing is just for me. Maybe my writing touches others. Only God knows. That will have to be enough. It is all I have.

What have you been on the verge of giving up? How have you pressed on?

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Photo by Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash

8 Replies to “Press on in writing dream”

  1. I felt your pain as I read this. Your honesty was touching. Michelle, your writing effects those who read your words! I believe God has given you a gift and a dream. I believe the struggle comes when we try to steer the ship, so to speak. God’s purpose for your gift and dream is His. Every time you sit down to write anything, you are fulfilling His purpose. And the outcome of your efforts are His also. Perhaps, 3 lies from the enemy are: Your dream is not looking like you imagined, You are not doing well enough, and your writing career has to look a certain way. God only asks us to impact the world around us for His glory and His kingdom. My friend, you do just that with every written word! Hugs.

    1. Thank you, Ellen, for sharing your wisdom and encouragement. I think you are spot on. Thank you for the reminders. God bless you. Sending a hug back. I know God uses you in many ways every day. Thanks for being His loving servant and sharing with us all.

  2. I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with this. I believe that if God plants a dream in your heart, He will bring it to completion. Just keep doing the next step. I am speaking to myself as well. I have an idea for a possible picture/greeting card/??? It’s perfect (in my own mind) and I just seem to be hearing…it’s not good enough, I don’t know how to create it, or why I should…but then…I hear if God gave me the first step…maybe He will give me the next. Because if I completed this…I don’t have a *next* idea, but maybe HE does!!! That gives me hope.

    1. Great advice, Deb! I pray we will both be brave in taking the next step as each step presents itself. I’m cheering you on! Remember that all things new take time to figure out so press on. God encourages. Satan discourages, so don’t listen to that negative talk about not being good enough. Keep me posted on your project. It sounds interesting. 🙂 Thanks also for your support!

  3. Keep doing what you’re doing! You’re an exceptional writer! Do you have an action plan or want to meet with a career coach?

    1. Thank you, Shari, for the encouragement. I have a plan. It just seems progress is slow. The list always seems to be so much longer than the available hours somehow. Measuring progress also seems elusive. I will just keep plugging away.

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